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Writer's pictureLynn DeLong

Vss365 week 4

1/17/21 - 1/23/21


Moon


Original 1/17/21


The day goes dark

Light shines o’er head

The moon goes to work

Moving oceans in their bed.


By morning it hangs

So close in the sky

It brings the pangs

Lost freedom to fly.


The dark side is a mystery

What’s over there? Let us see.


New version


The day goes dark

Light shines o’er head

The moon goes to work

Moving oceans in their beds


The orb sits up high

Reflecting the light

Of the sun in the sky

It pierces the night


Sometimes it is full

Or goes unseen

During the lull

Darkness is king


The sun gives us light

So green things can grow

The moon, it does fight

For ocean’s flow


By morning it hangs

So close in the sky

It brings the heart pangs

We forgot how to fly


The moon is romantic

Inspiring stories

Of love in the attic

Or battlefield glories


Though we can’t see

What’s on the dark side

The moon will still be

Controlling the tides.


My Take:


The picture below is mine, I took it one morning when the moon looked close enough to touch. It was also an inspiration for both poems. It thrills me when the moon seems so close you can touch it. There is something mystical and amazing about space. It’s immense and there is always something new to see.






Shadow


Original 1/18/21


The shadow glides across the ground

It follows me all over town


The light determines where it lays

Huddled at my feet, or stretched for days.


My shadow is the shape of me

It’s sewn on tight, can’t get free


New version


The shadow glides o’er the ground

It follows me around the town


The light determines where it lays

Balled at my feet, or stretched for days


My shadow is the shape of me

Sewn on tight, it can’t get free


Trading places, my shadow and me

We’d let the world really see


Who I am deep down inside

With it in control, there’s nothing to hide


My Take:


This prompt brought to mind Peter Pan chasing his shadow. Then I wondered: What if my shadow could act independently of me? What kind of things would it do? I would hope it could do more than I can.





Ego


Original 1/19/21


My ego has caused pain in the past

Hurt feelings equal decisions made fast


Options chosen without a thought

Floundering around til I got caught


Love and pain warred in my soul

I shut my eyes to my life’s goal


Now I don’t let ego rule o’er me

I’m better than I used to be


New version


Ego was a source of pain in the past

Hurt feelings led to decisions made fast


An option chosen without a thought

Instead of caving, I should have fought


Love and pain warred in my soul

The lack of her presence left a hole


I missed out on a lot of her life

Her youthful years were full of strife


If only I had paused for a moment

Thought things through, I wouldn’t have left


I would have been there as she grew

With love, caring, hope anew


This failed decision on my part

Has taught me not to think with my heart


These days I weigh decisions carefully

Understanding my choices thoroughly


My daughter is coming, oh how we’re blessed

Hearts filled with peace, love, and happiness


Now I don’t let ego rule o’er me

I’m better than I used to be.


My Take:


Every decision we make is a new chance to learn. When I was young, I made snap decisions that changed my life. Now, I take the time to put aside my ego and preconceptions, and think things through logically.





Filter


Original 1/20/21


My filter is broken

I say what I think

The words that are spoken

Lead me to the brink


Being polite or being true

What I say is my appeal

With my words I come to

Bring the depth of what is real


New version


My filter is broken

I say what I think

The words I have spoken

Take me to the brink


Being polite, or speaking it true

The words I use are my appeal

With my thoughts I’ve come to

Bring the depth of what is real


I will say anything

That pops in my head

The voices sing

I’m full of dread


My comments don’t always

Come at the best times

Sometimes the phrase

Won’t even rhyme


My words have brought

Trouble before

Twas all for naught

For the laughs meant more


My Take:


As I’ve gotten older, I find myself saying anything that comes across my mind. I guess I’m at the point in my life where I just don’t care what other people think of me anymore. I am going to be unapologetically me, and I’m going to say what I want (once i’m comfortable around you). Watch out world, here I come.





Stigma


Original 1/21/21


It’s hard to have any life

A stigma adds lots of strife


“It’s phantom pain, all in your head”

I feel like I’ve been run over in bed


“There’s nothing wrong that I can see”

Something’s wrong, pain won’t let me be


New version


It’s hard to have any life

A stigma adds lots of strife


“It’s phantom pain, all in your head”

I feel like I’ve been run over in bed


“There’s nothing wrong that I can see.”

Something’s not right, pain won’t let me be


“It looks to me like you’re a drug seeker”

While I sit here, the pain makes me weaker


Not all doctors believe what you say

They’ve never had to live this way


Learning more about other’s pains

Will help us wipe away the stains


Mental illness shouldn’t be feared

So what if it makes us a little weird


Everyone had their own little quirks

The point is, to do what works


Only together can we wipe stigma away

Teach the doctors, save the day.


My Take:


The quoted lines in this poem are either phrases that have been said to me, or what I feel was said internally. That being said, I have heard of chronic pain patients being turned away without relief because of the “drug seeking stigma”. Granted, this was a few years ago, things may have changed. Every person’s pain threshold is different, I live in a constant 5-7 pain level, only because I have become numb to the constant ache, for someone else my pain could be a 9-10 level. It’s important for doctors and nurses to put aside any preconceptions and stigmas in order to treat each individual patient without prejudice. As we learn about the brain, and how it works, we are beginning to remove the stigma of mental and chronic illnesses.





Euphoria


Original 1/22/21


The knowledge that my struggle is ending

Brings euphoria, strength unbending


My daughter will soon be an adult

On that day we will exult


For love will bring us back together

It’s the start of a grand adventure.


New version


The knowledge that my struggle is ending

Brings euphoria, my lips are bending


My daughter will soon be an adult

On that day we will exult


We’ve lived apart almost five years

Her father is (oops, can’t say that here)


I miss my child more than I can say

I’m driven to tears nearly every day


I just want to hold her, touch her, love her,

She’s felt all alone with that monsieur


I can’t wait until she’s in my arms once more

My tears of joy will over pour


For love will bring us back together

It’s the start of a grand adventure


My Take:


This is about the joy I feel every time my daughter visits. Soon she will be out of high school (IKR) and able to choose where she wants to go. We are all looking forward to her graduation.





Telepathy


Original 1/23/21


My mate thinks I can read his mind

He’s quite afraid of what I’ll find


I tell him I don’t have telepathy

It’s just my overwhelming empathy


But when I say what he’s thinking

He stares at me, unblinking.


New version - Don’t tell on me


My mate thinks I can read his mind

He’s quite afraid of what I’ll find


I tell him I don’t have telepathy

It’s just my overwhelming empathy


But when I say what he’s thinking

He stares at me, eyes unblinking


The day I guessed the lotto numbers

Is the spot I made my fumbles


Since that day he’s looked at me

With his thoughts hidden carefully


I think he suspects the underlying truth

But to admit it aloud would be uncouth


How do you accuse someone you love

Of reading the thoughts you keep above


It’s not the easiest thing to do

Thoughts are loud and clear when you’re blue


I try to give people privacy

By desperately avoiding society


It’s easier when I can’t see

Their eyes staring back at me.


My Take:


I am not telepathic. I did guess the lotto numbers one time, right before the drawing. It never happened again. I am empathic, I can feel the strong emotions of others, but I cannot read minds. Your thoughts are safe from me. The poem changed subjects halfway through. The end stanzas are from my WIP main character. She has powers to read beneath the surface.






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