I have a lot of medical issues that I am still trying to figure out. Sometimes it sends me into a tailspin. The following poems are from the Medicine section of my book.
Coping
I shouldn’t rotate
My hips and knees
It affects my gait
The pain won’t ease
I need to find
A way to walk
Where legs are aligned
And I don’t balk
Sometimes I forget
I’ll twist and turn
That’s when I fret
And begin to yearn
For a body that works
Like everyone else’s
I’m sick of these quirks
I feel so helpless
I know I need
To accept my limits
Still I bleed
To stop the grimace
I want to be normal
Just like you
Thankfully I’m mortal
I’ll wait in the queue
I have my ways
To do what I want
I even amaze
My own heart
When I’m building
Worlds or Legos
I’m not wilting
I move like tornadoes
Being creative
Brings me joy
It’s a stimulative
I enjoy
So I write
For breaks I build
My future’s bright
I’m super thrilled
Moving in certain ways brings pain, learning not to make those movements is a struggle. It is hard to break a lifetime of habits. Below is a picture of something I like to do to ignore pain, my own photo.
Medicine
Every time
A migraine hits
I feel like a greenhorn
It’s the pits
My mind goes blank
I don’t know what to do
With every step
The pain will renew
I have meds
I know work great
Because of this
I’m a cheapskate
I hoard the meds
Cuz they cost more money
Than I make in three months
To put it bluntly
I would love to have
A bigger supply
But my insurance
Always asks me why
They mustn’t control
What patients need
Meds are important
IC’s shouldn’t impede
My course of treatment
Because of money
It’s not like I’m
A strung out druggie
I am in pain
Twenty-four / seven
The meds help the pain
To decrease or lessen
I recently learned
I shouldn’t be
In pain every day
That isn’t the key
To a long
And productive life
Pain only leads
To the path of strife
I wish the pain
Would go away
I’m only asking
For one day
It is difficult to find joy in life when pain wracks my every movement. I still try to keep my hopeful outlook, but sometimes I could really use a break from having to be so strong.
Overwhelmed
Having a
Disease is a chore
Mostly one
You abhor
Doing what
The doctor ordered
Very slim chance
On moving forward
Taking meds
Might not work
Still can’t do
Most housework
Mine is genetic,
There is no cure
As days go by
I must endure
The pain and anguish
That pins me down
Won’t even let me
Leave this town
When it gets
To be too much
And I can’t handle
The softest touch
I put the pain
Into a box
And hide it
In the boondocks
Where it can
Not touch me
Frees me up
For a day, or three
Boxing up pain
Isn’t the best plan
At least it allows me
A basic life span
For every little trick
I’m told to try
Nothing works,
They make me cry
Stop telling me how
To live my life better
Every suggestion
Sounds like a chain letter
I’m doing my best,
Can’t you see
The pain won’t let me
Show my glee
Life is a struggle, and pain can be completely overwhelming at times.
Illness
What is great
In your life
What eases all
The pain and strife
Is it nature
Is it love
Is it a watcher
From above
Tell me your secrets
I’m begging you please
I can’t deal with
Another disease
My heart is racing
My head is full
My chest is heaving
I feel the pull
I don’t know where
I go from here
My future life
Is full of fear
I’m trying to keep
Bad thoughts at bay
When they get through
I start to decay
My life seems full
Of medical issues
White blood cells
Attack healthy tissues
Migraines make it
Hard to work
While EDS sits
And lurks
Waiting to make
My joints give out
Filling my days
With fear and doubt
Will I ever be
Normal again
Or will this be
My final end
I cannot think
Nor do I want to
Every future
Just makes me blue
I know I need
To send out good vibes
It’s just really
Hard sometimes
Today seems
Like one of those
I want to curl up
In the bedclothes
Under the blanket
Nothing can get me
Here I can
Imagine I’m free
Escape is a necessary outlet for chronic pain patients. We all need to find an outlet in our lives that allows us to put the pain aside, and makes us happy. The problems start when the pain is too much, and we don’t remember what made us happy to begin with.
** Unless noted, photos were sourced from the Wix website files.